May 15th
and 21st are significant days in my life, and bring forth a mixture of happiness and great sadness. You see, I was married on both these days. Let me explain:
The legal part of my wedding took place in in Vancouver, Canada on May 15,
2009. It was a day that was just supposed to be about saying a few legally
bound words and signing documents in front of a licensed Celebrant.
But it turned magical when my dad and
grandma flew in to take part. A small group of close family and friends (even a
couple of my co-worker buddies skipped work just for us) met at the Inukshuk at
English Bay to bare witness.
I have to admit in many ways it was the more
special of my two weddings. Only because it was the first time I looked into
her eyes and said "I Do".
And
then I cried like a little baby as my wife gently wiped each tear from the corner of my eye.
My sister, her then boyfriend, and my mom flew in to
celebrate with us that night. It was the perfect day.
May 21,
2009 was our wedding in Thailand. We both had "done it all before" so
we were extremely relaxed.
On the day, she sipped champagne at our villa, while I sat back
with a beer by the pool reading a book.
My mom, in-laws, and friends worked
tirelessly throughout the day preparing the beach altar, organizing dinner... (my
current flatmate Elliot carved an amazing sand tribute for us in the pouring
rain under the direction of my Mother-in-Law). 
As sunset drew near the rain stopped, our family and friends gathered and we said our vows in front of a Thai priest who spoke little English.
We were then surprised with a few lanterns, releasing them into the night sky over paradise. One flame even looked like a heart. Oooohh, romantic.
And fireworks! Not just your corner store fireworks. But full scale, holy shit,
fireworks. All the hotel guests came out to watch and cheer. I think we should
have charged them to get some of our money back for the trip overseas.
I managed not to cry that day, but was overjoyed with the gathering of family and friends
from all over the world.
That being said, even
in our wedding bliss, there were signs that it wasn't going to last.
Here are
my top ten signs it ain't gonna work:
1) You argue every vacation
2) You fight more than you laugh
3) The tree you plant on the
beach on your wedding day gets swept away by a wave as you're planting it.
4) You tell her the song 'Collide' by Howie Day is "our song"
5) The male and female cats you
each brought into the relationship never did learn to along
6) Her happiest times with you
are when your both too busy to hang
7) You debate whether it's been 3
or 6 months since the "last time"
8) You have an argument on your
wedding night
9) She tells you she doesn't
respect you
10) When you start running out of
excuses to make it work
All that
being said there are hundreds, if not thousands, of things I will miss about
this amazing woman.
Here are a mere ten:
1) Her laugh
2) Her "Upper
Australian" accent
3) The way she danced when she
didn't think anyone was paying attention
4) Falling asleep on my lap
whilst my legs fell asleep
5) Being able to be my 'real'
self around her (or perhaps that was my downfall - haha)
6) Our future dreams, our future
children
7) The walks to, and Sunday
breakfasts
8) Waking up next to her
9) Her belief in the goodness of
others
10) Her lips
Do I
think I could have changed anything? Perhaps. I made some REALLY stupid
mistakes.
Would I
do it all over with her again even knowing it wouldn't last. HELL YEAH!
Although
we had some terrible times, and a tragic end, I learned so much about myself.
My likes, my dislikes, my limitations.
One minute with her at our best, shadowed
the months of us at our worst.
My only
regret? Other than us not working out, it would have to be not taking that dance
class together. She was oh so beautiful when she danced.
So since we're still legally married, and if by some far off chance she's reading this,
Happy Anniversary.
Love always,
Jimmy
