I on the other hand am an 'anticipator'. I pre-plan life's events in my mind. So when things don't quite go exactly the way I imagined them to be I feel a sense of disappointment or lack of accomplishment. I don't live in the moment. I'm always talking to people about "planning ahead for variables" rather than just living life. I can tell you, it's stressful being an 'anticipator', and at times for those people associated with one. Ask my ex about going to a movie with me, or the airport, especially. Who wants to show up for a domestic flight three hours prior? Me, that's who. Gotta plan for those variables. IDIOT!
I've spent an estimated twenty three years trying to anticipate my next move, wondering what the futures going to be, and attempting to change who I am in order to meet my expectations. But I honestly kept thinking I was coming up short, and I'd be caught with my pants down.
You Can't Plan For Happiness
Sure you can put certain things in place to buck the odds for said happiness. I'm not saying "never plan". But, we've all seen horrible things happen to good, hard working, people who had their life planned out.
What good would have years of planning and "anticipating" have done for my friend from university who died of cancer? Or for an ex-girlfriend (my first love) who was involved in a horrific car accident and is now wheelchair bound with limited body movement and short term memory?
What did all my forethought do for my failed marriage? Diddly Shit, that's what! I spent so much time thinking of the future that I let some of life's little, BEST, moments get away.
My younger sister, Kathleen, is currently traveling around Europe in gypsy fashion. Picking up odd jobs here and there, meeting new people, taking bike trips around Romania, spending the night in photography studios in France, and preparing gluten free baked goods for little old ladies in Croatia (forgive my inaccuracies Kathleen). She is someone I truly admire, someone who has taught me so much just by living day to day. She has no fear, finding happiness in those tiny interactions I spoke of.
I'm not writing to offer up answers due to an epiphany I just had. I'm honestly still confused about how to live life in the moment, and am unsure what true contentment is.
Sure, I'm starting to take things day by day, moment by moment. I no longer stress about work for example. I sail in, work hard, and leave job related problems and politics at work.
I've started doing activities on impulse. I'm now taking Latin dance classes (I'm on class 4), learning to play the guitar (I can play the E chord, but not well - and every time I strum the guitar I'm in the habit of singing "E, E, E, Eeee"), and met a new roommate online (I move in this coming Sunday. She seems sweet and a little bit sassy).
I'm actually looking to you for solutions.
What are some of the tips for living a stress free, moment to moment, lifestyle? I'm looking for proven, and effective tips here. I realize some of the suggestions may only work for the person offering up the tip, but I'm trying to stray away from those people who are 'full of advice' but don't 'practice what they preach'.
For now I'll start slow, living from week to week, and hopefully by years end I'll have mastered the moment by moment thing. I don't want to miss life's next Double Rainbow.
Fuck You Variables!
