Anticipating Moment To Moment

I have always been amazed at people who enjoy the little moments in life. Those people who take pleasure from the smallest of conversations or the simplest of interactions.

                                                                     (Vancouver Riot 2011 - Courtesy: The Guardian)

I on the other hand am an 'anticipator'. I pre-plan life's events in my mind. So when things don't quite go exactly the way I imagined them to be I feel a sense of disappointment or lack of accomplishment. I don't live in the moment. I'm always talking to people about "planning ahead for variables" rather than just living life. I can tell you, it's stressful being an 'anticipator', and at times for those people associated with one. Ask my ex about going to a movie with me, or the airport, especially. Who wants to show up for a domestic flight three hours prior? Me, that's who. Gotta plan for those variables. IDIOT!

I've spent an estimated twenty three years trying to anticipate my next move, wondering what the futures going to be, and attempting to change who I am in order to meet my expectations. But I honestly kept thinking I was coming up short, and I'd be caught with my pants down.

You Can't Plan For Happiness

Sure you can put certain things in place to buck the odds for said happiness. I'm not saying "never plan". But, we've all seen horrible things happen to good, hard working, people who had their life planned out.
What good would have years of planning and "anticipating" have done for my friend from university who died of cancer? Or for an ex-girlfriend (my first love) who was involved in a horrific car accident and is now wheelchair bound with limited body movement and short term memory? 
What did all my forethought do for my failed marriage? Diddly Shit, that's what! I spent so much time thinking of the future that I let some of life's little, BEST, moments get away. 

My younger sister, Kathleen, is currently traveling around Europe in gypsy fashion. Picking up odd jobs here and there, meeting new people, taking bike trips around Romania, spending the night in photography studios in France, and preparing gluten free baked goods for little old ladies in Croatia (forgive my inaccuracies Kathleen). She is someone I truly admire, someone who has taught me so much just by living day to day. She has no fear, finding happiness in those tiny interactions I spoke of.


I'm not writing to offer up answers due to an epiphany I just had. I'm honestly still confused about how to live life in the moment, and am unsure what true contentment is.
Sure, I'm starting to take things day by day, moment by moment. I no longer stress about work for example. I sail in, work hard, and leave job related problems and politics at work.
I've started doing activities on impulse. I'm now taking Latin dance classes (I'm on class 4), learning to play the guitar (I can play the E chord, but not well - and every time I strum the guitar I'm in the habit of singing "E, E, E, Eeee"), and met a new roommate online (I move in this coming Sunday. She seems sweet and a little bit sassy).

I'm actually looking to you for solutions. 

What are some of the tips for living a stress free, moment to moment, lifestyle? I'm looking for proven, and effective tips here. I realize some of the suggestions may only work for the person offering up the tip, but I'm trying to stray away from those people who are 'full of advice' but don't 'practice what they preach'.

For now I'll start slow, living from week to week, and hopefully by years end I'll have mastered the moment by moment thing. I don't want to miss life's next Double Rainbow.

                                                              


                                                     Fuck You Variables!

Moving On - Paying it Forward

As most of my regular readers know I've recently separated from my wife and am now in a foreign country trying to find purpose. I've received many a word of advice and encouragement.  Since it's International Pay It Forward Day, I thought I would share some wisdom I've received via email, Facebook, texts...with those of you jumping, or tripping over, your own relationship hurdles.   

Here are a few (but definitely not all) that have helped my journey forward:

I'll finish off with a quote I posted on Facebook a couple weeks back that puts some of my perceived shortcomings into perspective: 

 Stay Classy,

Jimmy

My Perspective on Perception

per·cep·tion/pərˈsepSHən/

Noun:

The ability to see, hear, or become aware of something through the senses. The state of being or process of becoming aware of something in such a way

Isn't it interesting how we perceive external stimuli differently depending on the mood or the current state of life we're in?

Take for example: Oh let's say, Subject A moves to a foreign country with his wife, only to have his marriage and life fall to pieces around him.

Okay you guessed it. I'm Subject A (Feeling more like Subject F at the moment). 

 The point is, everything I do and almost every piece of stimuli seems to take on a new, deeper, meaning.  The surfing lesson I wrote about the other day could easily become a metaphor for love and marriage. In fact, I spent an hour yesterday writing about their similarities. I've decided not to share it, because frankly, it came off a little cheeseball. but here are a couple highlights:

...I had no clue how to get up on the board. I lay on it shaking from side to side, the deep, churning water threatening to pull me under. But I knew the reward far outweighed the fear and risk... 

...But, no longer able to keep balance, I plummeted head first into the murky waters. Struggling to reach the surface, I knew, I hoped, was there...

 

...In my heart I wanted so bad to go back for the board. But looking at it from a distance I realized the board was not meant for these seas. Cracked and warped, it would never glide across the waves the same again...

-  See what I mean. CHEESEBALL. 

But in writing that 'fromage' I started to gain some perspective, and a control, over my perception. 

Instead of looking at everything as a sad sign of 'love lost'. I am going to look at everything as a sign of 'life gained'. 

Here's a great poem I saw on the cafe I was sitting in yesterday. I think I'll follow its advice:

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. 

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

© Max Ehrmann 1927

  

Be Good To Yourself,

Jimmy

Not Quite A Surf Pro

The waves were small and the water, somewhat, calm tonight so Elliot, 'Palm Beach Surf God' 2004-2011 (I made that up, but he's that good),  took me out to surf.
Now, I've surfed once before in the cold, COLD, waters of Tofino, Vancouver Island, Canada. I got up on an outrageously large surf board then, I figured I could get up on the medium sized board today.
Let me just state this right now. Surfing is hard!

First of all ocean water never stops moving. Fact. Trying to balance on a board while paddling out into surf is not an easy feat. I admit, trying to sit up on the surf board to look as casual as Elliot while we searched for the perfect wave, I may have fell off a few times. Sucking in enough salty sea, making me Gold Coast belching champion for the next 25 minutes. There were actually dolphins in the water a few meters from us. I didn't see them because I was too busy trying to balance on my flotation device/surf board. I bet they were laughing at me.

In addition to balance issues (Elliot assured me the balance eventually comes), my lower ribs were killing me. I am told that everyone's ribs and chest gets chaffed as it presses into the board. Once again, I was assured my body would get used to this. So far, surfing rated a three out of ten on the fun scale.

Knowing that I lacked the spotting and paddling skills to catch the perfect wave, Elliot basically pushed me into the wave, screaming out "paddle, paddle". The first wave caught me by surprise. It seemed to go on forever. Luckily, so did my effort to get up to my feet. Unfortunately I only got to my knees before the ride ended.  But, surfing (or whatever I was doing) just moved up to a strong six on the fun scale.
The next wave was mine. I popped up to me feet and actually rode the wave. There was no carving, flips, or showboating. And, although I looked like this:

I felt like this:

 (special thanks to Stuey 'Bloody Elbows' Spence for capturing a few less than flattering photos of my adventure)


I managed to get up a couple more times. But as the daylight dimmed, and a menacing storm moved in from the south, surfing started losing it's appeal. And I started thinking of things like shark attacks (more attacks happen when it gets dark) and lighting and high winds zapping me and blowing out to sea.

We walked out of the water just in time. The wind picked up, catching the board I was holding, forcing me to walk in a sideways/forward motion toward home. 
The storm actually missed the Gold Coast, but the Sunshine Coast got whipped with wind, tearing off roofs and sent people running for cover.

As a victory, or perhaps a survival, celebration, Elliot bought us pizza and even let me watch a full episode of The Big Bang Theory, which he thinks is the worst show on TV (Enter your votes now).

Lessons learned from today you ask?

1) Surfing is damn hard to learn (at least my tail bone isn't killing me like when I learned to snowboard)
2) Elliot is a good friend and a patient instructor. (I'll get you a good price on lessons in you're ever in the Gold Coast area)
3) Dragon's Breath Pizza gives me tremendous gas, and may be the reason Elliot left his place a half hour ago, without notice, to go visit his brother in the apartment below.
Pictured below is Elliot's brother Xavier (or Xav or X - I'm actually not sure what his given name is).

                                            In this photo I'd like to refer to him as 'Surf Jesus'

Jimmy

Byron Bay - Where Beauty Meets Beer

I had the opportunity to go down to Byron Bay with Elliot and the boys (+1 cool girl) on Sunday. Elliot kept saying it was going to be epic.


"Amazing surf" (don't forget, I can't surf), and a "plethora of beautiful women" (I am currently riding a heartbreak and have zero game anyway).

Upon arrival it was hard not to appreciate the beauty before me.




The water was the bluest of blue and the surf did look amazing.

I shot about 150 photos of surfers, sweet waves...

 ...fishermen



...and bikini clad beach bums.









As well as one topless, exhibitionist, young lady who camped out no more than 10 meters from me. (I protected her identity because I'm pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate her breasts on my blog)

After the boys, and girl, finished surfing, we had a couple of beach pops

 
 

 

 


...while Bobby (aka Bobcat) entertained







 
 

We headed back into the town of Byron Bay to experience the, much hyped, Beach Hotel tavern. (Did you know they're the number 1 seller of beer in all of Australia?) The tavern was fun, it was huge, full of attractive people, and Bobcat (sorry Bobby had to do it). I made sure the tavern stayed at the top of the beer purveyor list. Getting quite inebriated and watching Fun-Bobby turn from Bobcat to Bob-MadCat.

But gladly left at 8pm back to Queensland (Byron Bay is just across the border in NSW - a 45 minute drive from Palm Beach).

Keep in mind we left Palm Beach at 9am.
and thanks to a 10 hour sleep I felt like a million bucks this morning. Riding my beach cruiser to my new favourite coffee shop, the Barefoot Cafe.

Tonight it's a place called Mike's. Where a giant plateful of ribs is in store for my hungry belly. I'm gonna get FAT!

Jimmy Out...